I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
