I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
