Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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