come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
