We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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