it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
