wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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