do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize