dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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