is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
