My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
