I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
