1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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