no, he came in my armpit
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
