I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
