I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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