why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize