Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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