You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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