I hate your face
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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