you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
