This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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