Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
