He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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