i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
