i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
