dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
