I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
