I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
