You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
