nut hugger
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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