I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
