One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
