i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
