Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
