my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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