Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
