I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize