coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Oh god it's open bar.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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