Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
