is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
