This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
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