Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize