I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
