I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
