If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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