no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
