lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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