That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
