Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
