I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
