its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize