At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
