I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
