the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
