He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize