Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
