I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I need water and some morals
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
