why didn't you poke me back
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
