We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
