My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
babies were throwing up all over the place
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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