And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
