Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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