proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize