I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
