I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
