dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
there is puke in my bra ... again
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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