You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
