I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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