I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
