I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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