I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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