he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
