he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
MIDGETS
????
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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