The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
