then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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